This is slightly morbid. But that's okay. Here's what I've determined. You're always going to have problems, and you're always going to thing there's a solution for those problems. The solution you're thinking of, usually, you have to wait a while in the future to reach the solution. But the thing is, and the thing I've come to realize is that your so called "solution" has problems of it's own. Completely different problems, bigger problems in fact. The older you get the bigger the problems get. Until you're old enough to understand and want the big solution, the only real solution. And that would be to die. Now before you get me wrong, I'm not saying that i want to die or anything, in fact I cannot wait until I'm older and go to college and start my own business and all that jazz. I'm just saying. It's a true fact.
And I've also realized that no one around my age really understands that. Even people that do kill themselves, because they think they understand that. They don't. If they understood that whole point, they would also be wise enough to understand that that is not the way to solve your problems.
Yeah, but that's enough about that. I'm getting off my point. My point is. That right now, in my life i thought I had found a solution. And it is a solution, a big one in fact, but one I have to wait for. I would have to wait a very long time. And although my solution seems heavenly in many ways. I know that that solution will come with many other problems. Different problems. Problems I wont be prepared for. Problems I wont even see coming.
But am I going to let all these new problems turn me off to my solution? No, I don't think so. I like the good parts of my solution. It out weighs the bad for me. I just want to be prepared for the unforeseen. Expect the unexpected, I guess you could say.
Now does this mean I should let my current problem lay? Let it build up until the time when the solution can be executed? Also, no. I need to stop being a retard, get off my butt, and attack it. Actually attack it. I want to attack it. I just don't know how. The one solution is all I see at the moment. I've been praying for a shorter term solution. One that I don't just have to sit around and wait for. And strength to help me in waiting for my long term. I don't like sitting around and waiting. I don't like it at all. Self control, that's what I need. I've got to keep remembering that. Praying for it. That's all.