My Thoughts in Order

First off, since when did people become too cowardly to say things to your face? It was probably when all this technology that you can hide behind came about. Can I not handle your little no? When did I prove to you that I'm not strong enough to take that? I'm thinking about just cutting them off, no more. I'm done, take me as I am or not at all.

If you're reading this, welcome to your gilt trip. Leave now, get off this page. You'll regret it if you don't leave right now.

Second, I miss when we would stay up till like three in the morning and just talk about stuff. Now it seems like you're always itching to do other things. We cant just talk about fun stuff anymore. It has to have a purpose or there's no reason. Even when we hang out it feels like it's just because it's something we have to do, not something you want to do. Which sucks. What happened?

The Background

I really dig it. Like for real. I don't even like riding bikes all that much, but it's a great and interesting picture.

I have some really interesting stuff on this blog. It's pretty much just me whining about life and all, but it's interesting. And it helps a lot. When i'm distraught I don't think straightly so writing it out really helps me to straighten everything out in my mind. Find out what's really bothering me and what I should do about it and that's really nice.

Other thoughts, you can't just listen to ninja warrior and figure out what's going on because Japanese really doesn't have any sort of change of  tone, not on announcers anyways. They have one tone, yelling. so you cant really tell if the guy fell in the water or anything. It's pretty stressful.

You should also always pay close attention when baking cookies. Because you may forget to double the flour and put maple instead of vanilla.

Also, I'm happy to say that I am done with the taks test forever. It's not something I will miss doing, not in the slightest. Makes me feel all grown up.

That's pretty much all I can think of to put in this here post. It had just been a really long time, so I figured I would just ramble for a bit. So I guess that's it. :)

Stress Makes Me Want to Claw Some Eyeballs

I'm going to fail school. It's simple as that. There's really no way around the fact that I'm going to be pissed off until Thursday. Stress and pissed. It'll be miraculous is I still have a boyfriend come Friday. Or any friends for that matter, because this week makes me want to just yell at somebody. With me there's the stress that makes me want to cry, there's stress that makes me want to lay in bed all day, then there's this stress. Probably the worst of the three the "I'm pissed off don't talk to me or I'll claw out your eyeballs then yell at you for a little while because it's your fault." 

Movies I need to rent and watch

Catch Me If You Can
Cast Away
Social Network
King's Speech
The Hangover
Ferris Beuller's Day Off
Shutter Island
300
Ugly Truth
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
Titanic
Donnie Darko
True Grit
Megamind


More to come....

I've got issues.

I really do.  What is wrong with me?

I can't... but I can.

I can't...
Do math
Read out loud
Write well
Read boring books
Stay around people for too long
Ever be a doctor
-lawyer
-scientist
-government employee
-sports/ movie/ super star
-or any other job that makes the big bucks
Make straight A's
Explain myself
Speak without fumbling over my words
Spell
Find Waldo
Say the Alphabet backwards
Understand other people


but I can...
Draw decently
Build things
Listen
Be entertained easily
Play the piano
Cook
Make a turtle shell out of newspaper and wires
Go out in public in clothes that don't match
Multi-task
Sew
Knit
Think for myself
Speak up (when necessary)
Watch many movies in one day
Sing the Preamble
French braid
Memorize songs
Ice cakes
Wake up in the morning and not have to do anything with my hair
Do my own laundry
Go the rest of my life without any peanut butter

Nothing really

We've been dry lately. Nothing in depth, I feel like there is something holding us back. I feel no different then anybody else. Surface answers. Am I doing the same? Am I also holding back? Why would I do that? There's no reason for me to do that. I need to work on that now. I never realized that. That's why this blog was a good idea. For no one but me. So that's what I'll do, let loose. And if that doesn't work, then I'll confront it more bluntly. But as for now, we'll just try this.